"Live YOUR Life for YOU Alone"

I first viewed Clarissa's @_clarimartinez work at the Trucha 20 x 25 exhibition last year. Receiving a few pieces from Clarissa and seeing them first hand really struck a heart string. I recall taking a step back to view them for myself, by myself in the empty gallery while in preparation for the event. I've had these ingrained in my mind for awhile now that I couldn't bear not learning bit more of what the artist had to say!

Now, we have an interview with Clarissa

The series is called "The Words That Binds Us" this show itself showed at Cactus Valley August 29th. For those that may have missed it and the additional 2 pieces for viewing at Trucha. What could you say this series is about? Clarissa explains by saying "Actually, my solo exhibition was called The Words That Bind Us, but the works within the actual series of that name are the four paintings that feature portraits and figures with the red, dripping words painted all over them. But I honestly didn't start to make that distinction until the show was over!" Making that distinction until after the show is interesting. I can imagine making the individual pieces, placing them, and then being like hmmmmm! The moment it HITS! What a neat surprise as she continues by saying - 

"The exhibition asked viewers to consider the common expressions heard in border culture that (whether intentionally or not) cause slights and aggressions towards women within their own communities. The body of work explores Catholicism’s direct, and even secular, influence upon the subconscious suppression of women. By voicing traditional expectations, women are kept 'in place' from reaching goals that do not align with the religion or society’s conventions. It's that constant flood of suffocating pressure: pressure to marry, to marry young, to have children young, to not question, and, ultimately, to conform. I used Catholic motifs as metaphors to critique the role of ceremony within the church and investigate the impact of taking away a woman's autonomy. 

For the paintings specifically in the series of the same name, the making process parallels the point of the work itself. The painted statements on those works are often said to Latina women during a milestone event or accomplishment in their lives. Instead of being met with joy and pride, many women are often met with words that undermine their own efforts and achievements. The portraits are based on real photographs sent from friends and family. I collected real statements from multiple women who grew up with these words thrown at them, and many continue to hear them to this day. Inspired by the themes and techniques of the late painter, Hung Liu, I wanted  to explore the line between intention and spontaneity. The exhibition also featured works in ink, one tunnel book, and the two sister paintings, Hostage and Free." Wait, using actual photographs. I'm looking at these pieces knowing this person is real and seeing the statement splashed against them just...it made me weak. It made me feel knot in my throat. Not only was I captivated at first glace by these at the 20 x 25 show, but this is information to me. I had a moment to myself. I teared up.

There's so many phrases, from "y tu novio" or "ya casate" and many more. Has there been one or more that have stuck out to YOU personally? I'm remembering a few things from my childhood as Clarissa says "I don't think any of these phrases stick out to me personally because most of these haven't been said to me. I grew up hearing them around me, directed to the girls and women near me. It's like these questions and statements have been buzzing around like mosquitos you just can't seem to squish." I can think of numerous times I've been called out for not being a "man" at a young age. As a child, by older male figures. To have a cigarette burned onto me, marked. For what? For bringing forth whimsy on the driveway and laughter, for being a boy not a young man in the eyes of them at the age of 6. Even recently, you'd think you'd escape it, but it lingers and it's reared it's ugly face to remind me that even at the age of __ to be a "man." Looking at Clarissa's paintings reminded me of words, actions and continued behaviors from men, especially within our families. These bind us. Clarissa continues by saying -

"Maybe the painting that features, 'A tu edad you ya tenía hijos (at your age, I already had children),' because it makes me angry how that phrase is weaponized by matriarchs and patriarchs alike to belittle their daughters. It also implies an additional pressure on women to have children, or it's said within that context. Variations of this phrase within that context have been said to me before, especially more often as I get older. It's very annoying." The way it's aimed as an accomplished, ONE of life's must have ACCOMPLISHMENTS is ridiculous. To be deemed as someone living a "full" life. No husband? No wife? No kids? A broken record on repeat. Graduation? Job? Milestones? It'll come down to being undermining it as Clarissa explained in the first question.

Looking at "hostage" and "free." I look at this and think a lot on the way Catholicism has a grip on our households. Especially in the older members of the family. In terms of a few words we can express what it feels to be a "hostage" but what does it mean to be "free?" As Clarissa exclaims "To represent the whole exhibition, 'hostage' can refer to one feeling like they are being held hostage by society's expectations and conventions. Being 'free' in this context means to live one's life however one wants without judgment, without pressure to live to those expectations. Those sister paintings, titled Hostage & Free, are specifically talking about marriage and divorce, respectively. Within many religious communities, it's frowned upon or discouraged to get divorced no matter how bad the marriage gets. To me, it's another way religion is used as a weapon to control women. And men, too, honestly. I've seen and heard how divorce can really liberate one's life after a toxic relationship. And I've seen or heard of the consequences when it's not possible." Even to this day, the weight it carries. It can even in situations for example being in a sense exiled being an outcast to your own church due to a divorce. The way it'd spread, the way eyes will be on you, and the family words spew labeling YOU even if it was for your own safety and well being to leave the relationship. Just thinking about it sends me shivers.

What caused you to begin these series of paintings? 

"I'm not really sure when I got the idea for some of these specific compositions, but I've always been making women-centered and feminist art since undergrad. I think as I became completely deconstructed from Catholicism, and moved back home after graduate school, the foundations for it started. I couldn't help but observe and compare the differences of campus life, friendships and relationships between Brownsville and Baltimore (where I went to graduate school). 

Though our community has progressed so much, it was obvious from afar how traditional values hold the reins when it comes to expectations of women. And when I came back, it just became suffocating to see and sometimes experience. With growing religious and conservative rhetoric from both the 2020 and the 2024 election, I just needed to express that frustration somewhere. To make people understand how messed up this all is. Maybe to get people to question why they think the way they do. Although, I'm not afraid to express it vocally either. I just think my artwork is stronger than my actual voice." I feel a certain way. Pushing away men in my life who have hive-minded to be a certain way. That they have to be "men" by acting a certain way or surrounding themselves by certain things/others that deem this. Hell even the "rite of passage" high-school classmates have shared with me that have deemed them "men" at a young age is insane. Cutting ties at a young age, but it doesn't mean I/we won't encounter these sort of individuals as we get older. As Clarissa explains that even through our own friendships and spaces we venture to. The cycle continues through new generations, how frustrating.

What has the feedback been on these pieces? During your conversations, what did you carry with you? Is there a comment or story you think back on?

"It's been very rewarding to see or hear people who relate directly to the work. I was constantly doubting it as I was making it for the show, because it had been 5 years since I had oil painted so much in one go. So I could feel how rusty I was at the start. But everything came together and I'm happy to see that it resonates with so many. Most of this I have seen online. But I have met a few people in-person that have expressed to me how much they relate to the work. That some of those phrases have been directed to them as well. Someone told me that my M.R.S. painting resonated with them because they were also questioned by relatives why they wanted to go to college. Like, did they just want to go to find a husband? And I think that one sticks with me more since I care a lot about education and because I also teach at university. Students have confided in me about their situations that fall under these themes. It just motivates me to keep creating the work that I make. 

Other reactions I love seeing are the people who can't believe I 'ruined' the portraits with the dripping words. They're baffled, or get sad. But I'm like, 'Yes! That's exactly how I want you to feel!' Because that's what little girls all the way to adulthood feel every time they hear those things. Except they feel so much worse." Damn, "ruined" is a statement, but it also gets the ball rolling into what it means. Ruined. Thank you for sharing! I've had these on my mind for so long. I'm glad I can share and read your thoughts.  

What are you currently working on now if you don't mind sharing?

"Nothing right now, but because I teach full time at the university. There's no time for art making when you teach 5 courses that are almost 3 hours long almost every day of the week. But I plan to use the summer to make new work within the same themes. I want to do some reading to incorporate references to history, and I want to let my love of the horror genre influence these works as well. I need to practice some paper engineering for an art residency in the fall, too, where I plan to make a pop-up book. I also have ideas for a kinetic installation, but I gotta do a lot of research for that one first before I can talk about it much." Oooo I can only imagine! Ahhh! Especially with my love as well for the horror genre especially in literature.  

To those who may feel as if words bind them, what could you say as Clarissa states "Don't be afraid to say 'no' to the people you love, to relatives, or people in your community. We're taught at a young age to say 'no' to drugs, to strangers. Women learn that saying 'no' to a creepy dude can lead to violence, so now we do it with caution in crowded areas. We are taught to say 'no' to potential physical harm. But we aren't taught to say 'no' to our friends and family, and that can lead to saying 'yes' when under pressure to do something we don't want to do. And I'm talking about big life things that are expected of women. Don't say 'yes' to things that will let you live your life in misery and regret. Live YOUR life for YOU alone, and don't be afraid to disappoint your loved ones either." 

Any final comments you'd like to make?

One thing I want to hammer home is that it's not just the older relatives in our families or communities that push these conventions on women. It's a giant cycle. Mothers push their daughters, women my age push it onto their own friends and children. I see it cycle back into the younger generations, including my students. It's pushed onto men as well. It's harmful. 

I want to remind young people from the RGV that you don't have to get married in your early twenties and have kids before you are thirty. That is actually very not normal outside of here. Don't let your tías talk you into it if that's not what you want. It's ok to not believe the words in a book written thousands of years ago. Finish your degree, pursue your dreams. And even if you are already married, don't let your family tell you your dreams are over now just because of that. That's gross. Please know I'm saying this because I literally keep hearing about that in our community

ALL THE TIME. 

And also, support your local artists, galleries, libraries and museums!